Traditions~ old and new

(in an effort to update my blog, I ran across this post that's been sitting in limbo. It was originally written December 9, 2012.  It's done and ready...not so timely, but here you go!)

Tradition- "the handing down of information, beliefs and customs by word of mouth or by example from one generation to another without written instruction".

Christmas is filled with tradition.  From cutting down the tree, stockings hung from the mantle, a decorated tree and lighted rooftops, special meals, making and baking once-a-year goodies and special treats are all part of how we celebrate our holiday.  I shall keep these.  Always.
These  past few years, some of our traditions have been set aside.  It's been years since I could share the 12 days of Christmas (even when my kids were away at college, I managed to share the magic!) I miss the expected Christmas Eve pajamas (an annual reflection of how much they've grown and what their interests were) and the excitement of getting 'Santa's gifts' (always left out on Christmas morning, unwrapped for everyone to see upon awakening).  I miss Christmas dinner at my grandma's and getting to see extended family (usually the one time of year that we got to see our aunts, uncles and cousins-most of whom are too old or dead today).  I miss being able to know what was going to happen.  Don't get me wrong, I'm all for change and I love the unexpected.  But there's something about the holidays that draw you to the familiar~ to family, friends, food, fun and festivities.  There really is a feeling you get, way down deep, that warms you and ignites a sense of excitement and contentment.
I am trying to find perspective in traditions.  I have always wanted them to be significant and long lasting.  At the moment, there's an emptiness I can't explain.  It's as if what was, isn't any longer and I've lost my way. There's an anxiety about what my role is.  I am no longer the keeper of these traditions.  I've orchestrated them, now passed them out and today they are blowing in the wind.  Do I make new ones?  Do I perpetuate old ones?  Should I care.  Simply, I think I am not content.
There are no self help books on "How to Recreate Your World When the Kids Move Out and Move On."  I've looked!  There is no one person who is experiencing what you are.  There is no one right answer to fix it.  No one sees your plight like you do.  This must be the story throughout the ages, right?  I certainly cannot be the only one who has experienced this.  Or, maybe I am and it is simply a psychosis I must survive to get to the next stage of my life.
I think that this journey is as common as it is uncommon.  No one talks about it, because that makes it real.  Its depths are dependent on your hopes and desires. Mine are usually souped up and super charged. LOL!  Go figure.
For several years, we've encouraged our newlywed kids to find what traditions they want to pursue and just do it!  This year, they have taken the plunge and established what they will hold as their tradition. So, this year everyone will gather around our Christmas Breakfast Table.  We will share stockings and gifts as well as Renee's Potatoes, Egg Bake, Sausage Ring, Monkey Bread, coffee, milk and orange juice on Christmas morning.  I get that this is what's important to my kids.  In all the traditions we had as they grew up, this time of sharing is what is the heart of their Christmas.  I am very excited!  I love this tradition!!  But, then, I love them all!
There lies the problem.