a Mother's Guilt

As Mother's Day approaches, I usually find myself wondering "if" I will be celebrated.  And, if so, is it because everyone feels obligated or do they truly want to celebrate me and my 'mothering'? I'm never sure and feel a twinge of guilt in taking up anyone's time, if it is only out of obligation.
When my mom and mother-in-law were alive, I loved celebrating them, and when I was eventually included in the celebration, it was a bonus.  But I really did it for them. To celebrate their lives and accomplishments as women, wives and mothers. 
I heard Gwenyth Paltrow ask it once, and I shook my head in agreement,
“What is it about all this guilt that comes with motherhood?”
Indeed, Gwenyth, one does come with the other. No matter one’s wealth or status or age, we moms know the pang of guilt. Oh sure, I feel guilt over a plethora of parenting mistakes, like hollering at my kids and forgetting important school events. And for these smaller things, I’m learning to repent and ask for forgiveness while not buying into false guilt. But then there are the bigger life choices and circumstances that wash a tidal wave of guilt right over me, like hiding what was a guilty pleasure & today it makes me sick to think about.  I  still get caught up in the guilt, crying over regrettable choices and all the coulda, shoulda, woulda’s.
So this leads me to ask: When our own choices and life circumstances throw our children into harsh difficulties, how do we move past the guilt that comes with the territory?
We know to apologize. We tell the Lord and our children we’re sorry. Then we take it one step further and ask our children to forgive us. Because  asking for forgiveness can heal virtually any wound.
And then there is something else we must do, and I learned this from the apostle Paul.
If there is one rock star of Scripture who had a reason to feel guilty, it’s Paul. Before Paul became a Christian, he was bent on destroying God’s children: the church. And he succeeded in persecuting and killing many Christians. But after he met Christ, he penned this to the church in Philippi:
"I’m not saying I have it all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward – to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back." Philippians 3:12-14, The Message (emphasis mine)
While Paul referred to himself as the worst of sinners, he still had a healthy perspective about his identity in Christ. And why? Because he did not wallow in his sins or let guilt swallow him. Instead, Paul reached out for Christ. He moved outward, not inward. He knew the law of the Spirit of life set him free from condemnation, sin, and death. So he repented, asked for forgiveness, and moved on with his eye towards the goal: more Jesus.
Paul was not some super spiritual special case. The same freedom he lived is available to us, too. So, I will own my mistakes and ask for forgiveness. I will move outward, not inward. And then, like Paul, I will be off and running, quick to receive God’s grace so guilt doesn’t have a moment to settle in. I will work to make room for the life-giving power of the Holy Spirit to fill every square inch of my heart and soul so that the only things I wallow in is His light and love.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1-2
I'm working on that.  Moving closer, getting stronger. There are set backs and valleys, but I continue to run
toward Christ who is the goal!

Inspired by Kristen Strong.