walking in the light

Walking this morning, I was flooded with memories.  I think it was sparked by a recent email that included 'remember this' pictures and words. Then I was gently touched by the warmth of the sun as I rounded a corner and my heart twisted, I miss my mom.  This was her favorite time of year, too.  Although she never spoke it out as "I love Fall". You could tell.  She walked more, went out more, was more social and wanted to travel.  In fact, with the exception of spring training, she and my dad generally travelled exclusively at this time of year.  I miss my mom and watching how she delighted in her grandchildren.  I miss her calling my dad's name "Donald!".  I miss her graceful style and poise.  She wasn't anything fancy, but she was my mom.  I loved her.  I often wonder how much she really understood in her last days.  Did she really know who I was and did she really hear and carry the words we shared?  I believe she loved me too, and that she struggled with opening her heart to show it. She was strong and fierce when I was growing up, slowing and becoming gentler as I grew older. I miss my mom, especially this time of year.