At work, I am surrounded by some pretty amazing women and men who not only save lives daily, but have the most inspirational relationships with their kids and their parents. There are sons who call just to say HI. A daughter who shares her life openly with her mom. A dad who actually spends time, purposes to spend time, with his 3 young sons-taking them on adventures regularly. A son and his family who include their mom on their vacation. A son who comes in and literally sweeps his mom off her feet and spins her around as he shares wonderful news with her. A daughter-in-law who checks in on her mom-in-law regularly. A doctor whose mom joins him and several friends regularly at a local pub to play trivia. These are the people I choose to spend time with. I love them! They are truly amazing.
These relationships are also reminders of what I wish I had, and reflections of what I lack.
My 'mothering' is done. What I thought I sewed, I have not reaped. It makes me wonder "did I sew it at all"?
I do trust that I did my very best as a parent. I loved unconditionally, cared deeply, supported faithfully, prayed fervently, and prayed some more. I allowed God to manage what I could not and let go when it was time. Of course, there are things, in hindsight, that I would do differently, things I would change, but they are in my past, they, unfortunately, are part of my parenting legacy.
I am blessed to get to share this garden of lives I have planted and tended to. It is beautiful (even with the weeds that crop up here and there). It is an absolutely beautiful mess at times. There are times when its beauty takes my breath away and there are also times when it is so much work to maintain that I want to give it all up! But, I know that it is a gift from Above, so I treasure it. I will continue to enjoy this place, trusting my Father with whatever I get to reap. After all, its all His anyway!
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