I've been thinkin'...

...about this personal phenomenon~ this recent, personal revelation.  I am convinced that my desire for approval is no more than a simple need to move on with my 'empty nesting' life knowing that he cares. Its not so much approval as much as it is appreciation. To know that I did my job and did it well and it was appreciated. That all I thought I was, all I thought I did, all I thought I gave, all that I willingly gave up means something. That all the moments I worked so hard to maintain for tradition and memories are important.

         Doesn't everyone want to be appreciated, valued, even treasured?  

Doesn't everyone want to feel that they

are important to the ones they love? Doesn't everyone want positive connections with their family?

I watch similar relationships and crave the connection that allows for patience, understanding and a genuine  love that's shown.  I want to be loved unconditionally.  I don't want to be teased, made fun of, talked to or reprimanded like a child, I don't want to be mandated to do things or be the butt of jokes.  I want to be loved. I want to be hugged & held. I want quiet moments with my family in intimate conversation covered by love and grace. But maybe I don't get that here, in this life ~ but only with my God. AH...yes, That IS good enough. I know that my God loves me here, today, unconditionally.  I know that He will meet my needs.  In fact, yes, He has met those needs.  They have come in the most unexpected places! Thank You Lord.

It doesn't change my hope that in this physical world I can have that with my family.  The ones He has given to me to love, grow and nurture.

I'm still thinking.....praying about all this. Stay tuned.